Unbelievably Pointless Beyblade Short Stories
by MaxTakeItOff
Summary: this is a collection of short stories told from the least popular character of Beyblade, Rick. They're horribley written, but try reading them anyways, they're funny in a dumb sort of way. this isnt really about Kai and Rei...they are in it
1. Naked Parties

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM... yeah, we know... Rick! Coome onnnnn! Well, we did come on! uh, we decided to writed some short funny stories about Rick in very awkawrd situations with the people in Beyblade. Basically... Ricks an old dude, who likes kids! OW OW!...gross. We realize, bad spelling,and grammar!they're written on the spot...so they're kinda PWP! So...enjoy...or don't. REVIEW!

One day I was walking down the streets of New York. Going back to my roots. So I turned the corner. SMACK. "CANT U SEE IM WALKING HERE," I screamed at the wall I ran into, which turned out not to be a wall at all. It was my good friend Tyson. Well, I wouldn't call us friends. I haven't actually talked to him at all since ive met him back then. Now I can say otherwise. But this is about the past. After getting over the initial shock I help Tyson back up and slammed him against the wall. "Tyson, WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING!" I said. "Dude! Chill out, im sorry!" I calmed down and set him back down. "What are you doing here? People like you are killed every 5 minutes down here." I told him, he looked at me a little scared and coughed. "Well, I bet so...knowing you...im sure you helped a little...but um, im lost, can you help a brother out Rick?" I thought to myself, "RICK THIS IS THE PERFECT OPPORTUNITY TO GET HIM ALONE WITH YOU! RICK ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME!" I snapped back to reality and said to Tyson, "Sure, you can come back to my hotel. Then you can call someone and get a ride home..."

So we arrived at my hotel and went to my room. I got him a drink while he called Mr. Dickenson. "Thanks for the help Rick, um...what's in this drink? Taste a little funny..." I laughed, "No, it's just a diet soda..." I lied...I had a plan...and no one was gonna stop me! So after about 30 minutes and several drinks I got Tyson a tad tipsy. "Rick...is it hot in herre or is it jus' meh?" Tyson slurred. "Its you baby" he grinned, and started taking his jacket off. I blushed; I just wasn't expecting him to actually do anything about it like I wanted. "So Rick, Do you want to have some fun?" He asked. I gulped; he was starting to take of his pants...

Well I woke up the next morning to Mr. Dickenson shouting. I groaned and rolled over onto something...or someone. "TYSON? RICK WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!" My mind shouted at me. "RICK! OPEN UP WHERES TYSON?" I heard Mr. Dickenson shouting from the door. "Uh, He's SLEEPING!" I shouted back trying to get my clothes on. I slapped Tyson onto the floor and kicked him in the side continuously. "Uh...WHAT! Wait...where...why...WHY AM I NAKED?" Tyson yelled while wrapping the blankets around his well toned body. "Shut up and get dressed, Mr. Dickenson is outside..." I told him. "No way...what the heck went on last night!" Tyson growled. "WE HAD A NAKED PARTY I GUESS! ARE YOU HAPPY!" I yelled at him. He blushed and looked away. "Well... I...uh..." He stuttered. I smirked, "we'll hafta do it again sometime...only next time we can invite Kai, Rei, Max, and anyone else we want." I laughed at his embarrassed face. He mumbled something under his breath. "What did you say?" I asked. "I SAID FINE! As long as Kenny can be there..." I laughed and threw him his clothes. "Fine, how about tomorrow?"

THE END


	2. Uglee

Once upon a time there was a very rich and powerful king...he had a prince. This prince was so well known and so very hot. Everyone wanted a piece of him. The young, the old (hehe), woman, men...but not everyone could have him. One day the prince left his home in search of a sacred treasure. He didn't tell anyone of his leave. For he did not want anyone to follow him. Who could blame him? Being alone with someone so fine is kind of hard to leave alone...if you know what I mean.

As he traveled he became weary and decided to rest. He went to a small village on the outskirts of his village. He walked to the hotel place where everyone was staring at him like a piece of meat. He got a room, where he would sleep that night, and leave early. He wanted to get back to his village in at least a week...he didn't want to waste all his time on this journey.

He left the small village at 4 in the morning. He walked, and walked some more. After about a days worth of traveling he came across a small hut. He looked inside and saw that it was obviously abandoned. So taking this as a small sign, he decided to stay the night. He was getting closer to the place of the treasure, and figured he could stop. Tomorrow he would go all day and night; he would make it there in time. He laid awake thinking about his leadership, and how handsome he was. "Not everyone is lucky like me, to have riches, looks, and a good home" that man said. He awoke a couple of hours later startled. He looked around frantically. "What was that?" Before he knew it he was in a sack and dragged out of the hut. He fell unconscious, after being hit with what felt like a bat, but later found out it was a sledge hammer (you'd think he'd die?). He heard talking. "What are we going to do now..." he fought his way through the sack, and looked at his would-be-kidnappers and started to run. The guys saw this and ran after him, sledge hammer in hand. They tackled him to the ground. "Do you know who I am? Im the pr-" he was hit with the sledge hammer, so he didn't finish his story. Later, a young, and quite handsome man, came walking through the same area where the prince was beating with a sledge hammer. He saw the body sticking out of sand and ran over. "Are you ok?" the man asked..."uguhgugh" was his reply. "Could you speak up? Ewe, take a shower!" then the man realized that this man was hurt. He took him straight to the hospital.

The man paced outside the room where the prince resided. The doctor came out about 5 hours later. "Well? How is he?" the man asked. "He's fine, living anyway. Though im sorry to say we couldn't save his face." The doctor said. The man looked at him puzzled, "What do you mean?" he asked. "Well, his face was beaten in with what looks like a hammer of some sort, and we could only do so much... we reconstructed his face the best we could...but i must warn you, it's not a pretty sight."

The man rushed in to see the prince, he looked at him and what he saw took 40 years off his life. MAN was he ugly. He had a huge nose, ugly eyes. And where they had to replace hair they just added side burns, he didn't seem to have much of a chin and a huge fore head. There was little they could do about his hair. It was damaged badly and all they could do is put it in a low ponytail.

Finally he was able to return to his kingdom where he was quickly sent away for being so ugly. In attempt to find somewhere that would accept him he stayed in the nearest village he tried to make friends there, to let him stay. The elder of the village finally allowed him to stay, but decided it to be best to give him a new name along with his new life. Uglee was his name, Lee for short. Later forming a group called the White Tigers. The old name of his kingdom...

THE END

True story...ask him sometime. How do I know you ask? I was the man, who helped, and nourished him, and lost my eyesight and had to get surgery might I add...so there you have it, the tale of the ugly lion.


	3. Strawberry Syrup

well, I was walking along and I came across Tala, he was going through a garbage can in an old alley way, that use to be my home...he was in New York for the tournament, that's when I found him...before the finals. So I said to myself, "RICK...GO SEE IF HE WANTS A PLACE TO STAY..NO NOT LIKE THAT!YOU SICKO" So, denying my urges...if u know what I mean...I went over there, and asked him, "TALA...would you like to come over to my place?" He looked at me and he said..."NO, im just a tad tipsy...and went to get sum food...but I got lost, and wound up here in this dump..." Well, I had the urge to punch him, since this is where I grew up as a stripper. He then invited me to his house; because there was a party there...a lot of people were there. As in Kai, Spencer, Ian, Bryan, Boris, Lee (he just wants to be popular...it ain't working), Robert, Oliver, Raul, his annoying sister, Miguel's captain (I don't know why)...and more.

So I got there, and everyone is quite tipsy...so I decided to follow the crowd, and give into peer presser...except im not really their peer...I'm way older, I was more like supervising...but forget that! So I decided to mingle, and set my sights on Kai, who currently was topless...mmmm ya! Take off the pants next buddy! I did my lil' pimp walk over to Kai who now was pouring strawberry syrup on his well toned chest. Smirking, I went over and asked him if he needed help cleaning it off...he was way o drunk to say no...Do I didn't mind taking advantage of him...that stud. So hours of licking, dancing, and making out, the party was over...and it was all a blur. I woke up on the couch with Kai...and I think Ian under me. I said to myself, "RICK. WAT IF KAI GETS PREGNANT?" So I left...

The Next day in paper I saw in big letter..."KAI SUES IAN FOR ALL HE'S WORTH...NOT MUCH...THANKS TO A TIP BY RICK" I laughed at Ian, I got away with it...now back to Max, where I could have MORE fun. MMMM...

There is a moral to this story...give into peer pressure, as long as YOU don't get caught, but someone ELSE does for what YOU did! That's why, to this day, you don't know where Ian is...he wasn't at the tournament...haha...jail. 78 years.

RICK


	4. Rick and Max

When I was a young lass around oh, lets say 9...I said to myself "RICK, GET A JOB!" and I did just that. So my story actually begins on the streets of New York City, where dreams come true if Ur willing to lose an arm or 2...not that I did...I got something better...love...that pays good.

Whilst I was walking down Walstreet and I ran across a "NOW HIRING" ad, and I thought to myself "RICK, THERES A JOB! DONT LOOK AT THAT GUY WITH NO ARM, TURN AROUND YOU IDIOT!", so after staring at the guy with no arm, I looked in the window...and I went inside to apply. The said to me, "RICK, your too young to work in a place like this...get out." I wasn't ready to give up...so I said, "RICK ISNT GOING ANYWHERE! I want this job and IT WANTS ME." It was true; this job had my name written all over it. Now, I might have to remind you, that I am 9 years old. Well later on, they called me from the pay phone of which I lived and said I could take the job. I was feeling dizzy with excitement...or maybe the smell of the dead hobo was finally getting to me...either way, I was happy.

So, years passed and I was 11 years old. I was walking home from a good day of Stripping, which was the job I got 2 years ago. I was pretty good, and had a lot going for me. I was young, reckless, and live in an alley with a dead hobo I called Bob, which by now had turned into a skeleton...but he keeps a bats at bay. I tell him all my troubles...but that's a whole entirely different story...which ill get to later in the sequel. So as I reached my alley way home I saw some THUGS beating an poor lady with a brick and a steal pipe, which I recognized as my coat rack. So I thought to myself, "RICK, YOU BETTER GET OUT THERE AND DO SOMETHING! STOP TRYING TO LOOK AT THAT GUYS BUTT!" So I jumped into action! I grabbed one of Bob's femurs and started beating with all my might...but when I opened my eyes, I was beating the lady. Whoops! The bad guys got away, but she was still in a haze, and thought those were hitting her...so I got off lucky. So I welcomed her into my alley way home, and my head kept screaming, "RICK. WHAT ARE YOU GONNA OFFER HER? WARM SEAGE! ONLY YOU ACCUQIRED A TASTE FOR THAT!" So as I spent the next few hours trying to heal her wounds with only my sources...which were bloody rags and I think a dead animal. But none the less, she made me t over night...with maybe some kind of illness...

A Year later she awoke...she was in a coma since the beating with the bone, steal pipe, and the brick. "Where am I? How long was I out?" were the first questions she asked me when she awoke. I told her, "You're in my humble abode...and alley. You've been out for a year.."."A YEAR? Tell me You're JOKING!", she screamed. I calmly said, "No." She got over her initial shock and told me she had to go. But in gratitude she promised me her unborn Childs' hand in marriage, I graciously accepted. Not knowing what would happen next.

15 years later and 75 jobs later, all of which were stripping jobs, her son was born. Now you have to understand that she was in utter shock. She had thought that the child was to be a girl...well that's what the dead beat doctor said. So, I called her up and told her I couldn't wait to meet him. So in a desperate attempt to save her son from marrying a man, I mighty fine man, she fled to America. A promise is a promise...I wouldn't let her forget it.

16 more years later I joined a team, the PBBA Allstars, which Judy, the woman from years past, was the coach. I was bound to get Max. I met him one day in the airport, when she was introducing us. She didn't seem to recognize me; with all the years...I have changed. My once golden locks were now a dull gray. So, for now I would move in slowly. He was a hunk. I couldn't wait to make him mine. We started on the wrong foot, might have been when I launched my beyblade at him. I was just shocked at what a MAN he was...and in my shock I pulled the rip cord...whoops.

Well, after days turning into weeks I finally beat down Judy and made off with Max into the sunset down dead mans curve. And to this day, I remain a wanted man, for the manslaughter of Judy Tate, Theft of a vehicle, and kid-napping Max Tate...and for being down right hot. So here I sit, 45, with 3 kids and a white picket fence...and quite the young one! This is how my story ends. Fair Thee Well.

THE END

RICK (the novelist)


End file.
